Highlights from today’s impromptu date with The Shield:

Him, in sarcastic response to me half-singing with food in my mouth: “…attractive, babe.”

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Me, absolutely blowing his mind with Dippin’ Dots.

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Me: Love you.

The Shield: Love you, too, kiddo.

Me: …Kiddo? I’m technically older than you, you know.

The Shield: …You’re tiny. That counts.

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Him, in response to me trying on this sarcasm on/off shirt: “You know, ever changing that to ‘off’ is a downright lie, right?”