best spirit family ever

noniramicitia

I had a really tough day in therapy today, but one of the things I realized is that every single non-corp entity I’ve ever worried about making proud has assured me they’re proud of me just for being me. And that is an incredibly powerful sentiment.

I’m so used to “making you proud” consisting of doing things, finishing projects, having something to show. But just surviving and being myself makes the entities I care so much about proud of me. It’s such a radical shift in thinking, but it also feels very, very poignant after today’s session.

Pride doesn’t come from things and surface accomplishments. It comes from being true to yourself and doing things that scare you and being vulnerable and recognizing your own worth. It’s hard, and so opposite the morals of this society in which we live.

But it’s okay to be proud of ourselves for the little things. And it’s a lovely shock to realize people are proud of you for being and not just doing.

noniramicitia

For my own sanity, finally coming up with and recording new nicknames and tags for the pop culture spirit family. So, for posterity, the family is:

The Shield

  • Relationship to me: Fiancé
  • Tag: Stop being extra Cup Noodle Man

Hummingbird

  • Relationship to me: Sister
  • Tag: Shy flower BAMF

The Mentor

  • Relationship to me: Father
  • Tag: Lose the battle/win the war

Overall family tag: Best spirit family ever

noniramicitia

Okay, so maybe doing the family time/memorial/movie watching first thing today was not a great plan. I mean, I’m glad I got it done when my roommate was out of the apartment so I didn’t have to explain why I was freaking out that I couldn’t find the appropriate DVD and why I lit a candle at the start of the movie–but now my brain is firmly in that world and mulling over the little meditation I did before the little memorial and trying to work through discernment for it. I should be doing day job stuff now instead. Crap.

(I know this is kind of super vague, but I don’t know how to else to discuss it without winding up in the fandom tags. Feel free to send an ask/message if you’re curious and I’ll answer privately.)