A question for Lokeans
As I revive my Wiccan practice I’ll be asking questions that are stressing me out. So my first one is this:
I started a relationship with Loki and I felt really happy and excited. Doing some reading, though, I worry that I could get hurt if the relationship deepens, as Loki is often depicted as a betrayer and an adversary. I know that could be Christian influence but I thought I should ask:
Lokeans, has Loki ever hurt or betrayed you? What is your experience with him?
Hiya! For starters, you might want to check out the nokean tag over at the @lokeanwelcomingcommittee. Much of Loki’s reputation among Heathen’s has to do with him being viewed as the Norse equivalent of the Christian Satan, when in reality, the Norse didn’t really have the same notion of absolute good and evil. And a lot of the rest of it has to do with racism and homophobia.
So no. Loki’s not evil. But that’s not the same as never hurting you. Frankly, anyone you have a relationship with, god or human, is going to hurt you eventually, even if they have only the best intentions, because that is the nature of any two complex, flawed beings interacting long term.
With deity relationships in particular, one metaphor that really speaks to me is that of surgery. Cutting you open, on its own, is harmful. But sometimes it needs to happen before you can heal. Loki (and honestly, any other deity) will tear stuff down so you can rebuild it better down the road if they think that’s necessary. And even if it is necessary, it can be incredibly painful and frightening at the time. Anyone who tells you their spiritual path is all joy and light is just trying to sell you something.
But the pain of growth is worth it. Just like relationships are worth it. I think this quote by C.S. Lewis sums it up really well:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything
and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make
sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an
animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid
all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your
selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it
will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable,
impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
Important things
You can worship a deity without being devoted to that deity. You can make offerings without making oaths. It is okay. Please do not stress yourselves out because you want to make a thank-you offering but don’t want to make a lifelong commitment. Why would you need to swear oaths to say thank you? It is totally okay to just make conversation without involving vows and stuff.
I got prickly the other day, mostly about UPG-related things.
The more I’ve dug into Lokean history and the more I’ve talked to people, the more I’ve realized that modern Loki worship has some really nasty underpinnings. I can’t go into it. Not now, anyway.
Point being: I discovered a lot of common UPG regarding Loki is founded upon misinterpretations, loose definitions, and speculations-presented-as-facts, such as Loki being a Fire God or a god of chaos. Neither of these are lore-attested traits, and yet they’re thrown around as though they’re the defining features of Loki as a god.
Of course, in typical Lokean fashion, I quickly learned that just because someone has a different UPG than I do doesn’t mean they’re not having an authentic experience.
Cultural beliefs about gods can change over time, for one thing.
If I go around policing how Loki “should be experienced”, I’m no better than any standard-issue Nokean out there.
But my concern still stands: People don’t really know how to learn about their gods. I’m repeating the words of another Lokean I know, but he’s right: In the western world, we’re taught that if we regurgitate the “right facts” correctly, we get rewarded. If we don’t, we get punished.
But Godwork isn’t about learning the “right facts” and regurgitating them in your practice. It’s about finding the experience for yourself, which requires researching your god, reading the lore, and promoting active communication with your god, if you can manage it (meditation and trance is a good way of doing this).
And please remember that validation is not a form of verification. You can ask “experts” about your godly experiences until the cows come home, but it won’t make you more right about them–and it won’t make you more wrong, either. It can be dangerous for your practice and your relationship with your god to depend on this.
If you view Loki as a god of fire, or a god of chaos, or even a god of fish n’ chips and shitty dive bars, then make sure that’s something you feel aligns to your experiences. And also recognize that labels, while useful, can be restrictive and dogmatic. Gods aren’t who they are because of their labels. Their labels came from who they are and what they do.
Take your experience of your god into your own hands. Use the Lokean Welcoming Committee as a starting point. You’re allowed to mess up and be wrong in your practice. It’s an important part of learning.
…Hopefully this all makes sense. I just don’t want y’all hurting yourselves.
A quiet reminder that the gods understand when your life gets overwhelming and your religious life must necessarily lie fallow because of it.
“Falling in love with the wrong person can be toxic. But falling in love with yourself never will be. Self-love isn’t selfish, it’s only knowing your self worth.”
You can worship a deity without being devoted to that deity. You can make offerings without making oaths. It is okay. Please do not stress yourselves out because you want to make a thank-you offering but don’t want to make a lifelong commitment. Why would you need to swear oaths to say thank you? It is totally okay to just make conversation without involving vows and stuff.
Apparently it needs to be said? but don’t fucking? harass people’s spirit companions?
don’t say gross shit about spirit companions any more than you would say it about a corporeal partner, what the fuck, people. don’t harass, objectify, or say sexual and inappropriate things about spirits, that should be basic fucking decency in any kind of interaction?
what the fuck is some of you guys’ problem
How to Come to Terms With Your Gender / Trans-ness (masterpost)
Coming out isn’t just a process that involves others / the folks around you, it is also taking time to realize and recognize who you are. The most important person you will come out to is yourself.
This is difficult – it involves self care, self love, and self awareness. Basically, you reach a point where you are able (or in the process of) of accepting you as you. It takes time. No one said it was easy. And that’s okay.
How to Come to Terms with Being Trans (For teens)
I Think I Might be Trans, Now What? (available in several different languages)
5 Normal Questions Trans People Ask [but never do]
An Article on Being Trans & Older (New York Times)
Trans Self Acceptance – Transfeminine (YouTube Video)
A Trans Self Acceptance Journey (Article)
Coming out advice from Laura Jane Grace (video)
A Ted Talk [Transmasculine; but could apply to all trans folks] (video)
Accept Yourself, Love Yourself (video)
Trans & Religion (Judaism)
Trans & Religion (Islam)
Trans & Religion (Christianity)
Be Yourself – For LGBT Youth in General (cw: may include some outdated language/terms, PDF)
Coming Out to Yourself (general google search, advice could apply to all in the LGBT community)
It’s Important to Remember:
- Not everyone views the Gods the same way.
- Not everyone worships their Gods.
- Many Pagans do not view all Gods as perfect or infallible. This is actually normal.
- Not everyone has the same opinion or relationship with a God.
- Not everyone views the Gods as their parent.
- Some people have enough parents and are not interested in more.
- Some people may have negative experiences with certain Gods and that’s okay, it shouldn’t affect *your* relationship with your God, and you shouldn’t try to force/fix someone else’s relationship with that deity.
- Some see Gods like family, but with their own agenda. This is also valid.
- Some people are married to their God. This is valid. Even Christianity has Godspousing. It is a thing. Don’t disrespect it because you don’t understand it.
- Not everyone believes that all Gods are 100% tuned into what is your highest good. They are not equatable to the Christian Omniscient/Omnipotent God that knows what is best for all people.
- Some people avoid certain Gods because they feel that God has their own agenda, which may be true.
- Not all Gods may have your comfort and happiness as their priority. Some may act against this.
- Not all Gods *like* humanity.
- DO NOT PROJECT YOUR VIEW OF YOUR GOD ONTO OTHER PEOPLE.
- DO NOT CONDEMN OTHERS THAT DO NOT SHARE THE SAME VIEW.
Wandering Jotun / Ignis-Sassentia 